Why don't you open the door and we'll talk about it?

Hook to Exeter. couple of miles

Park my bike and sit down and relax and change my shoes. There’s the email. Hear an announcement: “this train will stop at Basingstoke,….” Oh yeah, have to change there. Bring my bike downstairs to change platforms and see 3 train company lads waiting at the turnstile. Can’t see the Exeter train on the screen.

‘You alright?’

‘Going to Exeter.’

‘Platform 2.’

Contemplate asking them can I go back outside and get my tickets printed from the machine. What if they look at them on the way back in? What if I get in shit for not having a ticket from Hook to here? Best ask them. One guy lets me out. On the way back in there’s tons of people exiting. Shit my guy is on the far side of them so have to go past a different guy. Head down. ‘Tickets fella.’ Flash them at him and mumble something about already being in. But I’m the guy with the bike.

‘Oh yeah go ahead.’

On the train have to fix my right cleat to straighten it out and tighten the pannier rack. Start getting to work on writing out yesterday’s happenings. Ticket man comes but I suppose he looks at me and sees all my crap and that I’m writing and maybe he figures I’ve been on the train a while so never asks me. Another ticket guy comes later ‘unchecked tickets.’ I go to reach into my pocket right in front of him. Fuck why did I do that? He checks all the newbies but not me. A while later I notice this train stops at two places in Exeter. Exeter Central and Exeter St Davids. Whats my ticket say? St Davids. Is that further west or is it south? Try to search for it on my phone but it’s not connecting. Feck. Run into the jacks and change into my bike gear. Check again. Finally it loads and St Davids is due north of central, no thanks. Just in time. I’ve heard of people getting fined for getting off a stop early but surely it wouldn’t happen to me. Maybe this is exactly the distraction I need so when my ticket doesn’t work I can say I got out a stop early and he’ll let me by without noticing the date. There’s no door though, have to swipe out. Put ticket in, red light. He comes over.

‘Oh I decided to get out a stop early.’

‘No you put in the wrong card, the other one is your ticket. No, that’s the receipt, the other one.’

Red again. The machine and my face.

‘Maybe it is because you’re…’

Why don’t you open the gate and we’ll talk about it. Swipes the gate open for me still confused about the ticket. I’m free. Get 5 yards.

‘Wait.’ Whats that film where he thinks he’s getting away then gets called back but does get away in the end? This is like that.

‘You have the wrong date here, effectively this ticket is useless…until tomorrow.’

Mr Samsonite, that’s as good as money sir, see this? You might want to hang on to that one, sell it on to someone tomorrow…

‘Oh shit, wait, what? What date is today again? The first? Oh I booked it late last night, see my phone it, I must have got the date wrong.’

‘I see here you booked it today.’

Em.

‘Just be careful cause you can get a very big fine for that.’

OK cheers. Thumbs up.