Now where the hell are my gloves? Looked through both bags and no sign, thought I had them in my hand when I came into the kitchen but they weren’t in there either. Looked in the utility room and out by my bike too. As shit as they are if I don’t find them I might as well go back to London. I had a normal thinsulate pair but they’re useless in the wind. I could maybe get a couple of miles and that’s it, where the fuck could they be? Went up to bed and was just about to get in when I thought they must be outside the front door. I took them off when I rang him and must have dropped them. ‘Can I check outside?’
‘Here’s the key.’
Was getting on 12.30 now so crept downstairs with the lights off so as not to wake anyone and then “doink!” I walked into the baby gate and it burst right off its hinges. I didn’t even see it coming. The next part happened in slow motion. I feel like it bounced twice. It was on the second step so maybe it hit the first step before the tiled floor. In my mind I reached out my hand and watched helplessly as the gate disappeared into the darkness (like in Cliffhanger when Stallone watches the girl fall.) But in reality I stood completely still and just thought ‘oh….shit.’ Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Boot a metal gate down the stairs onto a tiled floor in the middle of the night. I didn’t know sounds could be that loud. Good thing Johnny was moving out the next day. This really was Kevin McCallisters house, traps and everything. I made sure not to step on any broken Christmas decorations while I looked for the stopper that held the door to the bannister. Johnny came down and sorted it out. Then I licked my fingers and tapped the door knob to make sure it wasn’t hot and went outside. No gloves out here either. Shite.
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